I could happily live on peanut butter and I have trouble with percentages.
Hi, I'm Sminks.
I decided pretty early in the 'oh this is my theme what
shall I possibly do about it' brainstorm that I really needed to post a DIY
blog. I am a craft magpie after all and a craft blog magpie more so. I collect
potential projects like a kid in the 90's might have done with anything POG
related.
I simply can not help gathering 'home' projects- I have a
folder that I sift through and sigh at when I should be doing some kind of
other work (most likely involving looking after my home, ironing or maybe
washing dishes- I am a terrible home maker but I can dream). I have grand ideas
that when I grow up I will be able to some how inherit some mystical homemaking
skills- the same skills that will also make me a prize pastry chef, and
possibly stop my fear of bugs and things that fly.
It's okay if I don’t suddenly become some kind of adult
over night, I have potential to skip this stage and simply move straight into
crazy cat lady.
Growing up is much better than growing old- I much prefer
to be the same age but just keep learning new things or growing a few inches
upward. So this blog is actually not really about doing any of that, instead it
is about things you can do when you're at home and you're bored. Very ungrown
up like things involving things that stain your hands and make the inner child
squee.
1. Lets melt stuff.
Jessica Kerbawy
If you have been on the internet for more than 5 minutes
and you own a tumblr account you will most likely have seen the above image.
Melting rainbow crayons look amazing. I imagine they feel amazing and could entertain
a stoner for hours. I have had this DIY on my list of 'to do's' since last
summer and I really should make myself give it a go- of course I will be the
only girl in the North East to some how get crayon in my eye or I will somehow convince
myself that pencils will work better-but I really should do this, it's not hard
work and well.. If the crazy happens, I can always file it away with that time
I was bitten by a rabid rabbit and the whole bomb that turned out to be a fire
alarm.
Look at all that colouring and layers of icing! If we were kids right now, we would be told that this could and certainly would make us vomit technicolour. If thats not an excuse to try to make this now, I don't know what is.
I don't hide the obvious fact that I just don't bake, but I think I would be willing to employ someone to do this DIY or at least watch me like a hawk while I attempt to do it- slapping my hand when I say 'does it really need to be precise?' when I measure anything.
I think that this type of cake would be what a unicorn might invite you to eat.
I have never wanted to stain my hands and possibly break my
washing machine as much as I do right now after re-watching this video.
I know for 99% of the folk out there doing this DIY the
stains and the sad washing machine will not happen, and they will be free to
frolic around in their cool shorts looking like Keisha (only hopefully without looking
like they also smell like Keisha). I am the 1% that will ruin all the fun and
get bleach up my nose. This really is the pain I am willing to take because, I
want unicorn rainbow shorts.
I want to run around in these shorts and pretend I am a
pixie.
I want to wear these shorts out with my parents and when
they tell me to 'please stop wearing those damn shorts' 'burn them and bury the
ashes and we will never speak of this again' I will simply prance and be merry
smiling to all the other 'too old to be wearing those' people and we will live
happily ever after in our lyrca and velvet.
Sometimes I pretend that I can do girly
things like apply lipstick professionally and convince myself I do not look
like I fell into a pound shop make up display and rolled around until something
transferred.
I also sometimes like to paint my nails- I
have just started to do this for the first time in my 'adult' life. I even
bought nail vanish remover instead of picking off the varnish and leaving small
colourful crumbs everywhere.
Rainbow nails are 'next level shit'. They
are in my humble opinion the equivalent of being a marine or a super solider. I
can just about master one colour in even strokes and no mess on my fingers. I
am not sure how long I will take to even think I could do this let alone do
this DIY. Yeah, I know it only really involves water and some nail varnish but
from a girl who still has no clue what a base coat is, lets just pat my head
and tell me I will get there at my own pace.
It's still the coolest thing to do to make
a mess. You know you want to try it and you know I will want to see the results
so I can marvel at how awesome you are.
4 things to do that maybe you shouldn't do if you are over
the age of 25.. But no ones watching and no ones really interested in numbers-
so make me a cake and I'll help you fray your shorts!
I just don't like Mushrooms, and I only own one pair of heels.
Hi, I'm Sminks.
Welcome to the first post taken from the theme- Over the Rainbow.
It's only natural that when I plucked this theme from my stylishly stickered theme jar, my thoughts instantly went to a certain feathered monkey creature. Winged monkeys, the creepier and always skipped past character on the DVD/ VHS.
If given the option to dress as a character from The Wizard of Oz you know I would be rockin' the monkey get up (proof is indeed on the internet but don't ask why I look angry and why I have a beard). Strangely I am actually quite terrified of monkeys- I am a notorious wimp so this isn't really a big surprise-but I will leave that for another blog, because it could take days to write and you might start checking for monkeys in places they may never actually appear after reading it..
Lets focus on what those little fluffy flying mystery animals really are-
Side kicks, lackeys, off screen characters, under dogs, close companions, the Doctors companion, the comic relief, Kato, Dr. Watson, The Boy Wonder... All those henchmen who get killed in every action movie
The flying monkey may never get his own lunch box and possible tie in with a cereal brand but for those who are smarter than the average bear (Bo Bo is indeed a under appreciated sidekick FYI) you learn to appreciate what others cant. The guy who is destined to be the comic relief or the shoulder the Hero cries on can actually be the best thing to watch. Want to test my theory? Here are some examples.
1. Jane Lane
If you grew up in the 90's, gave anyone sass and had glasses chances are people would call you Daria.
This was me. Clearly having an iconic TV show where the main character has the sarcastic wit of a 90 year old feisty firecracker and actual observation skills was something that every teen who liked listening to Bjork and writing poetry could latch on to. I was known to read, to wear glasses and of course to own really big boots so naturally the clever insult of pairing me to Daria was inevitable. I call it an insult (actually it was a kind of beautiful endearment and I should have been blushing and thanking all those clever folk- Daria is after all pretty kick ass). For those who lived in flannel and wished 'Sick Sad World' was a real TV show, you knew that the only character that they wished they were really like was Jane Lane.
The Artist who was cooler and more laid back than Daria, Jane radiated hipster chic with her biting black bob, shorts and so many piercings in one ear. She was the poster child for anyone who wore black and listened to Radiohead. I loved her. She was anti social, funny and cynical and still had a boyfriend or at least made out in laundry rooms with boys (poor Bobby Bighead and his bad kissing skills).
I imagined that when I grew old enough to afford my own red shirt I would naturally be as cool as Jane.
Perhaps this was one of the many reasons I loved to draw.. and secretly wear red lipstick.
Classic Jane-
Daria: If you want to go, just make believe you're me. When you're popular, all unpopular people look alike anyway. Jane: [Takes Daria's glasses and puts them on] "Hi. I'm Daria. Go to hell." [Takes them off] Jane: It won't work; my face is too expressive.
Daria: [Daria is seated on her bed, reading from a script; the camera is on a tripod pointed at Jane]
And then you open the window and say, "Life is a meaningless descent
into the void." Then you jump, and on the way down you scream, "Now I
understand, I understand everything." Jane:
Can you get rid of the window part and give me something funny to
say? And a poodle! I'd really like to be in a scene where I'm walking a
poodle. Daria: Actors...
If you need further proof, then you should notice she started wearing tights and shorts way before the cool kids.
2. Rayanne Graff
Continuing my obsession with 90's TV and girls with pierced ears and amazing hair- let me introduce to you the best style icon you can have right now- even the cool kids on Tumblr know who she is.
When you were but a wee Sminklet and every other day you dreamt of being Jane Lane you spent the rest of the time wishing you had a friend as cool as Rayanne. Of course, you wanted to be Angela- she was angst and dyed her hair red and always had such a cool room to hang out in.. but you secretly wished Rayanne would pick you up after school and you could go hang out and act tough.
There are two types of My so called Life viewers- there are those who constantly watched it hoping to see more Jordan, and those who watched it wanting to see what Rayanne was wearing. Besides being the complete anti hero Rayanne wore the most amazing combos- and she was never without her one dyed fleck of hair. She drank, she badly sang and she was voted Most Slut Potential but she was bursting with everything other kind of potential. Creative potential. The underdog who stood up for her friends even when she really couldn't look after herself. I am fond of channelling Rayanne when I wear plaid.
Classic Rayanne-
ANGELA
You know what I'd really like? To be put out of my misery.
RAYANNE GRAFF
Everyone runnin' around all upset, rumours flying. Can't you feel it in
your fingers and in your toes? It's like being alive. Man it's such a
rush.
RAYANNE GRAFF
Last year that rumour about me and Mark Cameron, the orchestra pit, I
mean in that case it was true but... man all the conversation, people
writing notes and the- they look at you different trying to figure out
who you really are, like you're famous. Admit it, it's really great.
ANGELA
I don't know what you're talking about. [looks away smirking]
Everyone needs a friend that there parents are slightly awkward around. Usually it was me, and usually my friends ended up feeling awkward around my parents but it might have been pretty sweet to have that experience myself.
3. Melissa Auf der Maur
We all know (and depending on your music cool points) fear/ love Courtney Love. She is a star in the shape of a girl. She is fire and ice and lipstick smudges. I love her muchly. I also, however love the girl who kept it together while being part of the Courtney Love show. The lady with auburn hair and black metal roots. Melissa Auf der Maur.
She's the one you need to keep your eye on. Courtney may have shined bright and shined hard but Melissa kept the beat and gave you a wink while doing it.
There is no written law that you have to either throw yourself into the murky and often slipper waters that contain Courtney- or choose Melissa and float upon waves to somewhere unknown.. I must say I have met enough Hole fans to know that some people view them as polar opposites. I just see them as 2 amazing chicks who happened to make amazing music together and apart.
I think the first time I really feel in love with Melissa and really noticed her was during the Celebrity Skin video laying in a coffin with Courtney with the most amazing red curls.. *sigh* I knew anyone who could outshine the queen of shine and look bad ass needed her own shrine- with pictures from every NME I could hoard and as many Melody Maker articles as possible.
I followed her through the whole of her life in Hole and Smashing Pumpkins, then moved on to listening to only her debut album for hours (while playing Final Fantasy till who knows what time in the morning) while in University. She even got me more interested in black metal (well... interested enough to listen to some tracks and not skip and hide under my bed). Not only was she able to control the fiercest woman in blonde curls but she also fronted her own Black Sabbath tribute band. I remember pulling on my Dr Martins and tutu thinking anything was possible if she could sing like Ozzy.
Classic Melissa-
"It's as if I've been in two marriages at this point and I don't plan on getting married again, no. I will date people, maybe."
-About being in Hole and then Smashing Pumpkins.
"Everything seemed so dramatic and
classy," says Hole bassist Melissa Auf der Maur. "We generally hide
behind lots of aggression. Well, no, noise. Now it seemed like we were
trying to mature. I felt like I should wear a velvet dress."
-Melissa on playing MTV Unplugged with Hole.
"I do fuck, but i don't say fuck" -Melissa after Courtney tries to get the audience to get Melissa to say fuck
Who wouldn't want to dye there hair red and wear velvet after this?
4. Kim Pine
You saw the movie? Played the game? Bragged about reading the comic before the movie was out? If you met Kim Pine in real life none of these things would impress her. Most likely she would give you an uninterested look and play into her into to a Sex Bob-omb song.
When I read Scott Pilgrim of course I swooned over Ramona's hair and snickered at everything that is Wallace Wells.. but Kim was the one that snuck up and gave me a scowl, took my paw and made me want to punch Scott's life in the face... if his life had a face that is.
I cant spoil the comic because you should be reading it and then watching the movie and possibly learning all the words to every song on the soundtrack- but I will say that Kim Pine is yet again another kick ass character that changes your life. With every sarcastic word. At the end of volume 6 you will be satisfied with the outcome and how Kim has progressed. She's the level headed fire haired girl who wears skirts and plays drums. Whats not to love?
Oh and she works at a video store.. I fondly remember having such a job myself and really it was just as exciting as it is in the comic.
Classic Kim-
KIM PINE
Scott Pilgrim, you're the salt of the earth.
For the love of everything that is anything- please just press mute on this video and ignore the Michael Jackson thing at the start.
Oh how I wish this was full length, but oh how pleased I am to see Kim being central to this.
So that was the first in 3 posts under the theme over the rainbow- check back again to see more and possibly even to see the next theme unveiled. Exciting times!
This space of the internet where I am able to dot my eyes and cross my tees (huhuh) is going to change... well actually, it's going to become the thing I wanted it to be and so it's not one of those unpleasant changes- like when you see a grown up child actor and you know time has not been wise or kind.
I thought it would be more interesting and more productive if I were to theme my posts- I could just ramble here (and I did for the first four posts) but I think themes would mean structure, less likelihood of me simply posting pictures of kittens and bad poetry about tofu- no one needs to read that.
Choosing a theme was a little scary and slightly like a foundation art teacher, I found myself trying to pull out magic from a jumble of blank canvases in my head.. stumbling over teenagers who don't get perspective and mature students who do everything and anything because they pay for the course.
My ideas varied from 'maybe I should flick through a book and pick the third sentence on the fifth page' to 'I could pick my themes relating to titles of My So Called Life' (because Angela Chase would have been a blogger). I settled instead for something that I have never had the chance to do, and something I was being reminded of at this time of year.
Prom.
I have never been to one.
We simply didn't have them in my school years- we had school discos and house parties.
Proms were something you saw on American Tv shows and movies. Proms were for people who had perms and were smitten with the popular kid but never had a chance... Of course, I love it. I loved it as a kid, as a teen and you will find me still- right now-hoping beyond hope that the next teen flick I see includes that moment the unpopular girl gets the crown and everyone dances. I love the satin dresses, the awkward boys and the option to pin the corsage or perhaps have it on your wrist. *sigh*
I could rock a prom dress on any day with the right pair of shoes and the correct amount of hairspray.
I really missed out when I was an awkward moody creative teen, so now I am going to have a prom every month, and hopefully I may get an invite.
Of course being a complete novice at this prom dealie I had to get my theme research from somewhere that provide me with the best possible prom themes- or I could simply google 'prom themes' and see what site gave me the most themes... I blatantly did just that.
I wrote down all the themes that I thought were the most interesting and less involved with moonlight and casinos.. I put the names in a jar (I decorated the jar with stickers but of course, I am a child).
Shake shake shake
and picked a theme!
Boom!
So... June?
Ta-da!
Somewhere over the rainbow..
See the evidence of my childlike sticker frenzy and choice of note paper (provided by a very nice person).
I wonder what kind of prom this might have been and how many Tin men hooked up with Toto and not Dorothy.. I am sure there was a lot of gingham.
Check back here to see what kind of posts I can ravel together using rainbows.. I promise I will try to avoid as many references to our girl from Kansas and her dog. That would be just too easy.
